Newsletter Vol 53 • Marriage & Divorce
One of my great joys in my service is to assist people with relationships. So much so that it inspired me to write a book on it (coming soon, I think), called “The Divine Design of Relationships”. And, as the title says, there is a Divine design to each and every relationship we experience.
But the one that comes with most challenges is marriage and divorce. It is regarded as the pinnacle of an intimate partnership that subsequently leads to building a family and the ultimate symbol of a long term relationship with divorce being associated to failure and shame. And yet, from a Divine perspective, it is still just a vehicle of purpose and a season of our incarnation.
Marriage, as an institution, is man made said to have birthed in 2350 B.C., and the ancients often used it primarily as a means to create alliances between families. In other words, other than the celebration of union, the essence of marriage is not spiritual like the way religions has represented. Especially now, in the way that it is a legally binding commitment “’til death do you part”, is absolutely unnatural to our being.
And yet, we are conditioned to believe that it is some ultimate goal to strive for as if it brings everlasting happiness culminating life itself and even some kind of completion of a journey. But all of that is part of a propaganda and certainly not a representation of some spiritual law.
I have seen many toil and live their lives chasing this goal, dreaming, visualizing, and constantly searching for the “one”. And although a bond may last the entire lifetime, from a Divine perspective, it is just a season equally important as a relationship that only last a month. In my sessions, I have seen a 50 year marriage with nothing inside with an image of a house filled with dust and rotten foundation. But on the other hand, a one night stand with connection so profound and intense leaving a memory that lasts a lifetime.
And with a troubled marriage, it is often no longer about the bond between the partners but about the reputation and wealth they’ve built, what their family and friends would say, and of course, about the children. And the most important topic to put on the table to actually begin the healing process of the bond itself (which is the most important), is to be able to talk about “divorce”.
As we are conditioned to mourn endings, we subconsciously try very hard to avoid endings and with that, a forced effort to maintain the appearance of a marriage adding to the burden and pressure causing more resistance and friction with one another. But if we are not able to honor endings as we did the beginnings, then I would question how the marriage itself is truly honored. Because I have also seen relationships heal because they removed the title of marriage from one another.
Marriage is a beautiful way to express a bond. But to discriminate other relationships as any less by putting it on a pedestal and with it, greatly shaming divorce, is unnatural and utter misconception of union and the sanctity of any relationship for the purpose it is meant to serve.
And if there is any sense of ‘lack’ if we are not married or paired with someone, then that is already putting us in misalignment which perpetuates the lesson even after the marriage.
You are not single, you are whole. And a beautiful union is one whole being to another, boldly placing their light and shade on the table and exchanging the inspiration and lessons to create synergy. And if an offspring comes forth from it, let it be an extension and representation of that journey…
PS - I’ve elaborated more on Youtube